Wednesday, July 1, 2009

sweet screams

As a child I was terrified of this woman. My mother enjoyed relaying this news to potential girlfriends and anyone else who might disseminate the information to the public at large. Apparently on more than one occasion, usually on cartoon Saturday mornings, I would get up early and go into the kitchen to look for a bowl of cereal or a side of bacon and I would open the cabinets and there would be Mrs. Butterworth. I think my mom actually moved the bottle around so that it would always be sure to surprise me. But anyway the sight of this little black woman would send me running through the house screaming at the top of my lungs. I eventually had to be taken to a therapist. All I can say is that to this day I am not a big pancake fan and I can only figure that this has something to do with my distaste. Logic would seem to agree, I mean I have never had a problem eating anything else loaded with fat, salt, and sugar.

Upon reflection however there are numerous branding icons of my youth that do seem a bit creepy now that I have chronologically reached adulthood. Take for instance the Lucky Charm's Leprechaun....a bad acid trip waiting to happen. And the Keebler Elves...they lived in a tree and they ate babies and they fucked each other. I have no proof of this other than my gut instinct, but there is just something not right about these guys. And who came up with the idea of a talking vat of margarine? Parkayyyyyyy. that scares the shit out of me to this day!! As you absorbed it into your bloodstream Parkay was whispering to your heart "take a breakkkkkkk".

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